No Jenny for Santa

The news media purveyed various stories about Santa this week. In Australia, Santa is being encouraged to slim down this holiday season. In America, Santa is being asked not to use the familar "Ho, ho, ho" in favor of a less frightening and less female offensive phrase like "Ha, ha, ha".

I will start with the fact that I am a believer in many forms of political correctness. I think political correctness, when done right, leads people to think about how their words might be interpreted by others. But I think we've gone WAY TO FAR this time.

I applaud Santa for having a positive self image. In a time where many people feel completely bad about themselves because they are not thin enough, young enough or blonde enough (doesn't everyone want to be blonde??), Santa seems refreshingly unaffected by the media that constantly encourages us to look like emaciated teen agers. He loves who he's become, has the energy of a much younger man (he delivers presents to all the good boys and girls in all the countries around the world in one night!), and is loved by all. He obviously has been blessed with good genetics as he must be close to 700 years old now. He looks good for his age. His cheeks are rosy, he seems light-hearted and he's in a good place obviously in part due to the substancial volunteer work he does. I would have to say that whatever Santa is doing really seems to be working for him. And, as I always said with my great grandmother Lucille who lived to be 101, "Lord, at that age he should be allowed to eat whatever he wants"!

I love Santa, in part, because he's so jolly. Who doesn't like to spend time with good natured people? I must admit that I don't know many people that are eating carrots and celery, forgoing the egg nog and hot cocoa in favor of sparkling water that I would label 'jolly'. No, most of the those folks are actually quite bitter probably from their low-calorie intake and having to spend a large portion of their day doing something that they know is good for them but that they hate like the stair climber.

I also have to tell you that I find the entire idea that some woman somewhere was offended by the time honored greeting of "ho, ho, ho". "Me thinks thou doest protest too much" comes to mind. If there is such a woman and she truly felt that Santa was labeling her promiscuous, perhaps she really is and should work on making herself a little less available. If she felt personally insulted then I think she has bigger issues than holiday spirit to work on. Perhaps this woman needs more to worry about. I would suggest that she think about the homeless folks in her area and how she can make sure they get a warm meal and a coat at Christmas for starters. In no time flat, she won't give Santa's "Ho, ho, ho" a second thought.

I strongly encourage Santa to stay as he is - the treasured representation of Christmas, the smile that lights up a room, the belly that moves like a bowl full of jelly when laughing, "Ho, ho, ho". Can you imagine climbing up on a bony knee to give your Christmas list? I think not.

Santa, besides letting you know that I've been an awfully good girl this year, I encourage you to stay as you are and, if the media starts to get to you, turn off your TV and newspaper makes a great fire starter.

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas everyone!