The Roller Coaster was UP and Now It's down
Yesterday was a good day for Dad. We spoke with the neurologist and she seemed hopeful that he might recover to some degree. She isn't the primary neurologist so she was just going by seeing him and a quick review of his chart. We were all hopeful that perhaps things were starting to turn around for Dad. We talked at length about the plans for getting him a second neurological consult, finding the right rehab facility and how to handle Dad's personal items until he was well enough to take the next step.
This morning, Nathan and Brent were able to speak with the internist that's been working with Dad since Thursday. He advised us to consider moving him to hospice care as he had 'neurologically plateaued'. He said that Dad is also suffering from congestive heart failure, probably doesn't have the MeRSA virus but may have a touch of pneumonia. Apparently the medications needed to treat the heart failure would exasperate the hemorrage that Dad has in his brain so treatment at this time isn't possible. He called the stroke "devastating" as opposed to what was previously termed as massive. He suggested we consult with the regular neuroligist and the internist that had seen Dad when he was admitted (she went on vacation for a couple of days and thus the 'switch' to the current internist) tomorrow.
We are blown away. We went from yesterday thinking things were moving forward and that Dad might recover to the point of just being paralyzed on one side of his body (it's amazing how different our attitudes are now about this than they were on Sunday driving over. We had thought that paralyzation would be the worst thing ever to have. Now we know that it isn't even close). We had visited the local hospital that provides longer term hospital care to insure that Dad got as stabile as possible prior to moving him to a rehab / nursing facility.
Nathan and I had planned on driving home today to investigate care facilities. Now, we'll stay at least until we can chat with the doctors tomorrow - if we can hunt them down. You'd think that they would 'know' that we'd want to talk with them to discuss the end of someone's life but alas ... And, even when we leave instructions for the nursing staff to call us when they see the doctor so that we can speak with him, it rarely happens.
I think I've learned a lot about the medical profession this week. First, when the guy that's serving me lunch is more pleasant and compassionate than the nurses supporting my father after his stroke, you have to wonder what the heck is going on. Shouldn't part of your reason for selecting the nursing profession be because you want to help people? We've met many a crotchety nurse during this experience who really seemed put out that we would want to page our nurse because our Dad's tongue was peeling from lack of moisture. I've also learned that some doctors have lost their ability to understand how devastating this kind of situation can be to the family of the patient.
So .. here's what I would like to tell all Dad's medical professionals. This man lying here isn't a John Doe, he has two sons and family that love him and more friends than anybody we know and he has two grandchildren ... one that calls him Ice Iowa and one that hasn't had the chance to eat ice cream with him yet but wants to learn about ice cream from the Master. This man, who isn't John Doe, is intelligent, strongly supports charities, is well spoken and likes to tell jokes. This man is special, he's important and has so much more to teach us. Yes, we need to know the truth but the truth we don't need it to be quite so blunt. Is having a good bedside manner a requirement for medical professionals anymore? I don't think so.
As we walked down the hospital corridor, I had to wonder, what about the folks in here that don't have family? If you don't have sons asking the nurses to rinse their parent's mouth out or remove the crusty stuff from his eye or replace the pillow so his neck isn't at a terrible angle, what happens to you? I shudder to think. I felt we weren't properly trained to help Dad. We didn't know that we should be asking for them to rinse his mouth every 4 hours. We didn't know that we had to be involved in the 'care' portion of his stay. I guess, naively, we thought that they were trained in this and would handle everything. We were wrong.
So, what I've learned about the medical profession after a week of observation is that in the days of Grey's Anatomy, many of the professionals are more like Christina Yang than Izzy and we certainly and unfortunately, never ran into any one like Drs. McDreamy or McSteamy.
This morning, Nathan and Brent were able to speak with the internist that's been working with Dad since Thursday. He advised us to consider moving him to hospice care as he had 'neurologically plateaued'. He said that Dad is also suffering from congestive heart failure, probably doesn't have the MeRSA virus but may have a touch of pneumonia. Apparently the medications needed to treat the heart failure would exasperate the hemorrage that Dad has in his brain so treatment at this time isn't possible. He called the stroke "devastating" as opposed to what was previously termed as massive. He suggested we consult with the regular neuroligist and the internist that had seen Dad when he was admitted (she went on vacation for a couple of days and thus the 'switch' to the current internist) tomorrow.
We are blown away. We went from yesterday thinking things were moving forward and that Dad might recover to the point of just being paralyzed on one side of his body (it's amazing how different our attitudes are now about this than they were on Sunday driving over. We had thought that paralyzation would be the worst thing ever to have. Now we know that it isn't even close). We had visited the local hospital that provides longer term hospital care to insure that Dad got as stabile as possible prior to moving him to a rehab / nursing facility.
Nathan and I had planned on driving home today to investigate care facilities. Now, we'll stay at least until we can chat with the doctors tomorrow - if we can hunt them down. You'd think that they would 'know' that we'd want to talk with them to discuss the end of someone's life but alas ... And, even when we leave instructions for the nursing staff to call us when they see the doctor so that we can speak with him, it rarely happens.
I think I've learned a lot about the medical profession this week. First, when the guy that's serving me lunch is more pleasant and compassionate than the nurses supporting my father after his stroke, you have to wonder what the heck is going on. Shouldn't part of your reason for selecting the nursing profession be because you want to help people? We've met many a crotchety nurse during this experience who really seemed put out that we would want to page our nurse because our Dad's tongue was peeling from lack of moisture. I've also learned that some doctors have lost their ability to understand how devastating this kind of situation can be to the family of the patient.
So .. here's what I would like to tell all Dad's medical professionals. This man lying here isn't a John Doe, he has two sons and family that love him and more friends than anybody we know and he has two grandchildren ... one that calls him Ice Iowa and one that hasn't had the chance to eat ice cream with him yet but wants to learn about ice cream from the Master. This man, who isn't John Doe, is intelligent, strongly supports charities, is well spoken and likes to tell jokes. This man is special, he's important and has so much more to teach us. Yes, we need to know the truth but the truth we don't need it to be quite so blunt. Is having a good bedside manner a requirement for medical professionals anymore? I don't think so.
As we walked down the hospital corridor, I had to wonder, what about the folks in here that don't have family? If you don't have sons asking the nurses to rinse their parent's mouth out or remove the crusty stuff from his eye or replace the pillow so his neck isn't at a terrible angle, what happens to you? I shudder to think. I felt we weren't properly trained to help Dad. We didn't know that we should be asking for them to rinse his mouth every 4 hours. We didn't know that we had to be involved in the 'care' portion of his stay. I guess, naively, we thought that they were trained in this and would handle everything. We were wrong.
So, what I've learned about the medical profession after a week of observation is that in the days of Grey's Anatomy, many of the professionals are more like Christina Yang than Izzy and we certainly and unfortunately, never ran into any one like Drs. McDreamy or McSteamy.
posted by Tamara at 9:07 AM
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